I often preach that with awareness comes the opportunity for breakthrough performance. And I also remind my clients that like with any skill they learn in their sport, it takes some practice. It was these 2 things combined that led to my downslide of performance and then to the breakthrough I had yesterday.
I believe that answered question number 2 from above. And, it also shows that as a performance coach, I too am in the game of breakthrough performance, so you’re not alone.
As for question 1, what shifted for me about 1 month ago was my awareness around how I was performing. I have always been a high performer in that which I chose to focus all my energies in, and in so doing, I would drop everything else. Using the juggling analogy, where each ball represents a part of my life that’s important to me, I was really good at juggling 1 or 2 balls - a master really - and I would let all the other ones go crashing to the ground to perform at my max in whatever area I took on.
So my beach volleyball training would rock, and I would drop off my family/friends, my finances, my balance etc. Then I would focus on sponsorship, and my beach volleyball would drop. I’m sad to say that the important part of my life that was dropped the most was my family and friends, my relationship, and my home. All in the quest to be the best in my sport.
In other words, when I had a single-minded focus, I could perform with the best in the world. Now I want it all. I am choosing performance in all areas of my life at the same time. I chose that for the first time about 1 month ago, and, since I don’t know how to juggle 5 or 6 balls at the same time, they all dropped. Everyone of them. The only one that didn’t was my service to my current clients, but there was no way I could get new clients, that ball was rolling across the floor with the rest.
I’d go to the gym, and wouldn’t have time for the other things I wanted to do, I’d hang out with family, and miss out on a potential business lead. It was one or the other, I just didn’t know how to keep all the balls in the air at the same time. I felt like a failure. I was making myself wrong. I was arrogant in my thinking that I’d just be able to pick up everything and juggle it together at once, even though I’d never done this before. It was frustrating, disheartening and made me want to go back to my regular way of being and acting.
And in all of this, I had a close friend pass away. I’d never experienced such a loss and the pain and sadness of all the close friends who were mourning my friend’s passing. Her passing taught me the most important lesson, one that we all know but that only really comes true in your soul when someone so close is now gone: that life is too short to worry about what happens and what it all means. True living comes in playing full-out the game of life, with pure joy, love, self-expression and peace of mind.
That one switch in my mindset, from me doing things wrong and being a failure to me playing the game of life full-out, with pure joy, love, self-expression and peace of mind has shifted everything.
Now I am going for it, going for everything, just like when I’m in the zone in the match. I’m going for juggling all 6 balls at the same time, and if I drop one, I stop and pick it up. No more judgments, no more making wrong, just pure fun in playing. It’s a sense of accomplishment just to juggle those 6 balls for 5 minutes without dropping one. And when I do, I just pick it up again.
It took Thomas Edison 10,000 attempts to create the light-bulb. When asked how he failed so much he said ‘I didn’t fail, I just found 9,999 ways the lightbulb doesn’t work’. He didn’t see it as failure, but as a positive attempt that got him closer to his desire result if only by showing him what doesn’t work. I share this with athletes and people I speak to all the time, and I must admit I never really understood this before. I got it conceptually, now I understand in my soul.
And what I understand is this: there is no such thing as failure, or at least not in the way that we tend to define it as humans, like we’ve done something wrong and we should hang our heads in defeat. All there is is an opportunity to look at what didn’t work, and to set forth on a new path based on new knowledge. The only true failure comes in not playing the game.
So the trick my friends to having it all, and to creating performance in all areas of your life is to play the game. But not just play half-way, so that if you fail you have an excuse that ‘I wasn’t really trying anyways’. And not leaving some of yourself behind for fear of what others might think, do, or say - they’re going to think, do, or say something anyways.
The trick is to Play Full-Out in your sport and in your life. Play to win, put it all on the line, have fun with it, feel the pure joy, love, self-expression and peace of mind. It’s you that determines the significance after all. And I challenge you to put your focus on the playing, not on the outcome. The result will be as it will, and the more you practice, the more you play with all of you, the better your results will be . . . .and the more fun you will have, and the bigger life you will lead.
So I invite you to join me in playing the game of life full-out. The result: a new capacity for human performance and love.
And to my friend who left our world almost 2 weeks ago today, I will always remember this sweet life gift you gave me. Thank you and I love you, we all do.
Kara
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